Hold My Hand?
No one escapes dating without at least a few awkward moments. So I can empathize with this woman’s story about a painfully uncomfortable misunderstanding with someone she had a crush on.
What could have been an adorable “meet cute” turned into a crushingly embarrassing moment that we’re sure she was not able to come back from. But, if we’re thinking positively here, maybe he did want to hold her hand and this was the start of a beautiful love story.
Too Soon to Exchange I love you's?
This is an instance where we would like to caution this man to practice self control. One tip to not scare off your date is to definitely not shout “I love you” at them after the first date. Unless your date is equally crazy, this will most likely not result in a second date.
What concerns me is that this gentleman has tried to stop himself from blurting out those three little words before and has obviously failed. We think he’d have a much better shot at a second date if he could restrain himself.
Communication is Key
Listening is an ever important part of communication and any healthy relationship. If you don’t listen you won’t learn. So, it’s no surprise that a poor listener would end up single. You don’t have to listen to anyone when you’re alone.
I do like that this woman is self aware enough to poke fun at her lack of listening skills. And an ex’s review is not always the most accurate character assessment. Hopefully she’ll become a better listener for her next partner!
Hide and Seek
We all have our interesting quirks and habits that we aren’t necessarily ready to give up or change. These are usually harmless and ever unique so it might take some getting used to for a new person to enter the fold.
Playing hide and seek with your cats is definitely one example of an odd hobby. But, the right person will find this endearing! I think you should stay single until you find the right person to play hide and seek with you and your cats.
Grammar Police
I never knew grammar could be a reason to stay single but apparently, it is. Correcting someone’s grammar isn’t typically a great way to flirt but it might work for some people.
I do understand that intelligence is a big factor to look for when dating and if someone doesn’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re” it might just be a deal breaker. But also learn to accept a compliment!
Getting Mom’s Approval
Meeting the parents is an important step in any relationship, but that special moment doesn’t usually come until further down the line. The first date is way too soon to be meeting mom or dad.
Bringing a parent to basically sign off on your date is really weird, guys. And it’s a surefire way to not get a second date. We’re glad this young lady remained single and we hope the date learned that it’s really odd to bring your mom on a first date, or any date for that matter.
A Compliment Gone Too Far
This lady was on the right track before she crashed and burned. Sometimes, our mouths start talking before our brains can really catch up. And the result is a “facepalm” moment like this. Everyone loves a compliment!
And we can see that her intentions were good but the delivery ended in such an awkward way. Since she’s using the #WhyI’mSingle hashtag we have to assume that this did not earn her a second date.
Your Mom Jokes Gone Wrong
Most people look for a sense of humor in their romantic partner. But humor is subjective and jokes don’t always land with the wrong audience. “Your mom” jokes were all the rage in middle school but we don’t hear them as much these days.
And we certainly don’t usually hear them on dates. Pro tip: If you make a joke that someone doesn’t like, don’t get defensive. Or you might end up in the position this gentleman was in: uncomfortable and dateless.
It’s a Lose, Lose Situation
This is one of those situations where you just can’t seem to win. He offers to pay for the dinner and he’s “unwoke”. But it seems like he was just trying to be a gentleman! He offers to split it instead so he is then not chivalrous.
So what other option is left than to let her pay for the dinner herself? Apparently that wasn’t good enough either. I’m glad he made it out alive because it sounds like that is the kind of person that you probably don’t want a second date with.
Holding Out for Chris Evans
I’m not sure how much luck you’ll have in your dating life if you’re waiting on Chris Evans to come and sweep you off your feet. But we all have a celebrity crush that we would hold out for and a girl can dream!
We love that she is asking Jimmy Fallon for help to put her in touch with Chris Evans. Maybe the talk show host can make her dreams come true. But until Captain America comes and sweeps her off her feet, she is apparently decidedly single.
Student Becomes the Teacher
One of the best parts about dating someone is the new things that they can teach you. But it looks like this man’s ego couldn’t quite handle his girlfriend’s skill once she got better than him at his favorite game.
There comes a time when the student passes the teacher. It seems a little dramatic to move out over World of Warcraft, but she probably dodged a bullet. It’s better to be single than in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to see you succeed, even in video games.
The Key to Meeting People
It’s healthy to like your alone time and enjoy the time you spend at home. After all, it is your curated space and it is comfortable to you. But to meet people, you do actually have to venture outside of your comfort zone.
Meaning, you have to leave the house. So, it comes as no surprise that you are single if you prefer being at home alone than out meeting people. How does the saying go? Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone. Cheesy, but true.
Why is Granny Single?
This person decided to submit on behalf of their grandma. Why is her 95 year old grandmother single? Simply because she likes older men, and at that age, there aren’t many people older than you!
She’s either going to have to change her type or submit to the single life because the dating pool is small if you’re only looking for 95+ year old men! But I have to respect a woman who knows what she likes.
A Horse With a Mouthful of Starbursts
Honesty is (usually) the best policy but there is certainly such a thing as going too far. This poor person went on a date just to be completely roasted! Telling someone they smell like cheese is bad enough.
But to tell someone that they chew like a horse with Starburst candies in their mouth is way too specific and blunt to be taken any other way but with offense. This person might have the right idea staying single if dating means taking insults all day long.
Taking the Pandemic to Heart
One of the many rules that we acclimated to during the pandemic was social distancing. This mid-pandemic sign perfectly encapsulates why this person remains single. They don’t let anyone help them or get close to them.
Typically, it is pretty difficult to form a relationship when you don’t have people close to you. But, maybe that’s just the way they like it. For some of us, social distancing is a way of life now!
Dogs Don’t Complain
Dogs are man’s best friend and I can’t blame anyone for wanting to spend more time with furry friends and less time with people. That’s the kind of unconditional love that is awfully hard to come by!
It’s fair enough that this person would rather hang out with their dogs. One thing you can always count on is a wagging tail and a smile when you get home. And, sometimes that’s really all you need.
Good Intentions
This person is clearly well-intentioned but we can see how this kind of behavior has left them without a significant other. I don’t fault this person for preferring their food to be separated on their plate.
But touching someone else’s food is super weird if you don’t know them all that well. I can definitely see how this would not be well received. In the future, I might recommend waiting a while before touching your date’s food, or maybe avoiding it all together.
Going a Little Too Far
We have to appreciate a protective dad, but an overprotective dad can take it way too far. This is one such instance. Any boyfriend will be naturally nervous to meet the father of the woman he’s seeing.
But most men don’t have to worry about the father pretending to rob him as a test! We have to wonder if this girl is now single because the guy ran away or if she’s single because he didn’t protect her so she dumped him.
Flattering, But Creepy
Telling a girl that she looks beautiful is a great way to pay her a compliment, but the second part of this turned creepy real fast. I’ll give this person the benefit of the doubt. They probably were intimidated by the beautiful girl so they accidentally said something really weird.
Flattering, But Creepy
“I’ve been watching you” sounds more like something out of a Scream movie and less like something you’d like to hear from your date. Like the Scream killer, this person wound up single.
Sounds Like a Fun Date
Something you don’t want to be thinking about on a date is the lack of sanitation at the restaurant you’re at. It sounds like this person needs to learn to leave work at home. It would make it hard to enjoy a meal with someone pointing out everything that is a health code violation in the place.
Maybe this person would have more success if he dated other health inspectors so they can point out violations all day long without freaking each other out. Or, just leave the work at the office and keep the comments to yourself.
Don’t Sit in the Cat’s Seat
The joke about “crazy cat people” is usually an exaggeration, but in this case it might be absolutely true. Having cats is one thing, but if you have a date over it seems like the cat can find another place to sit.
Also, whispering to yourself is almost always creepy. So I can’t say I’m all that surprised that this date didn’t turn into a budding romance. At least she still has her cats!
Sharing is (Not) Caring
It can be hard to share your space when you’re used to doing things your own way. But relationships are about compromise, and that means giving someone some room on the bed even if you’re used to taking up the whole thing.
Perhaps this person needs to find someone that sleeps on the very edge of the bed so that they are still able to sleep like a starfish. But it sounds like they’re happy just doing their thing alone.
Word Vomit
When you have a crush on someone it is easy to stumble on your words and get embarrassed. You don’t want to say the wrong thing or have any awkward moments, but these things are inevitable.
This guy had the right idea holding the door open for his crush. But telling her it is “her problem” when she says thank you might have thrown off any possibility of recovery. You win some. You lose some.
Pick and Choose Your Battles
Shaving is a time consuming and monotonous task that no one likes doing! So I can’t fault this young lady for picking and choosing her battles. In fact, this might be a huge time saving hack for any other ladies who love their ripped jeans.
I’m not sure if this is a reason for her being single as much as it is a hack for shaving if you’re in a time crunch. I can’t help but wonder why she wouldn’t just wear jeans without holes in them so she can avoid shaving all together.
Fool Me One Time
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. It appears this person didn’t learn their lesson the first time, or rather, they weren’t bothered by the outcome. Mini muffins are delicious!
Eating dog treats might be something that would be hard to look past from a partner’s point of view. I guess she’ll have to keep this one under wraps until she really knows a person because we could see this scaring off potential suitors.
Saying “I Love You” to the Waiter
A major turn off for a lot of people is when someone is rude to a waiter. It says a lot about who they are, but I don’t think I’ve heard of someone being too nice to a waiter. Telling the person serving you food that you love them is a bit much.
Obviously, this person got flustered and didn’t mean to confess their undying love to the restaurant staff. But if they did, I can definitely see how that might make their date feel a little jealous.
Keep the Snacks Close
Keeping snacks close at hand is smart. You never know when hunger might strike. But your pockets don’t seem like the best place to store them. Not only is it seemingly very unhygienic, but you’re bound to crush them when you move around or sit down.
But this man was not fazed by these possibilities. It looks like he was caught red handed with a handful of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. He just wanted an innocent appetizer but it would be pretty odd to discover your date doing this. We see why he’s using this hashtag.
Lindsey Vonn Has a One Track Mind
It’s hard to date when you have a one track mind. This is especially true if your mind is dead set on competing in the Olympics. Lindsey Vonn is an alpine ski racer on the U.S. Ski Team so she isn’t really single for the typical reasons the rest of us are.
Her time is spent on the slopes perfecting her skills rather than out on awkward first dates. We can’t blame her. And it looks like she’s looking for a pep talk from Jimmy Fallon (on competing, not dating of course).
Aaaaand Action!
If you don’t have a date to bring to the movies, I don’t know if action figures are the next best thing. Imagine going to sit down in the theater and realizing there is an action figure sized Hulk or Batman in your seat.
Bringing toys to the theater might have been the norm when we were kids, but now it’s just a little weird. But obviously she’s self aware and that’s exactly the reason she’s using the #WhyI’mSingle.
Fictional Men
It’s one thing to have a crush on someone who doesn’t like you back but it’s a whole other thing to have a crush on someone who doesn’t exist. I guess the men in real life cannot compare to those in romance books.
It’s easier to have a crush on someone fictional. Less messy! But that’s also the reason this woman remains single. You can’t date books.
It's Brittany
Calling someone by the wrong name is rough. Calling your boyfriend or girlfriend by the name of your ex is even worse. But “New Brittany” is definitely a new low. Obviously, they didn’t mean to hurt her feelings.
But how would you feel if your boyfriend or girlfriend called you the “new name” because they needed to distinguish between you and your ex. It sounds like they might not be over “Old Brittany” yet.
Doritos Are Too Sharp
There are tons of people out there with interesting eating habits. I’ve heard of not eating the crust on pizza or not liking your food to touch, but this is definitely a unique habit.
I fail to see how biting the coroners of Doritos will save you from the “sharpness” of the chips. It seems like if you think chips are too sharp you might want to indulge in a different kind of snack. Don’t eat Doritos and you might find yourself a love interest!